A Gap In The Curtains
by L.Hawk
Summary: FrUK Dark Family AU. Peter looks out the window and wishes he could be part of the Oxenstierna family. Inspired by Miscellaneous Rhett's "King Of The Carrot Flowers"


Peter Kirkland would often look out the window through the gap in the curtains at the Oxenstiernas who lived across the street with a sigh of longing. He wished that he could have a family like that, just two fathers who actually loved him and nobody else.

His brother Alfred often said that he spent too much time fixated on them for his own good. He pretended to be annoyed with Alfred for saying that, but the truth was, deep inside, he knew that Alfred only said that because he cared about him. He was probably the only one in the family who cared enough to notice and say anything.

Their parents had stopped caring about them long ago, too caught up in their fighting. Papa too caught up in his flirting and his numerous flings, not the least of which was his sister Angela or Angelique as Papa called her. Papa was French and called Peter, Pierre and Mathew, Mathieu. Dad always told him to call them by their proper names but was too caught up in is drinking to care about much else concerning them. Dad was pretty much drunk all the time.

Mathew probably noticed how Peter would look out the window. Mathew noticed everything. He was the quiet one, so quiet that sometimes you forgot he existed. He avoided confrontation at all costs, so he never pointed out that Peters behavior bordered on obsessive. He cared about Peter, and was probably worried, but he knew there was nothing he could do so all he did was gently ask Peter to come to bed late at night when he was staring out the window because they had school in the morning, and he should probably get some sleep. Mathew was smart and lost himself in his school work. Peter wasn't as smart and couldn't.

Angelique, for that was the way she preferred to be called, would probably be worried about him if she noticed his obsessive watching, but she didn't. Nobody could blame her. She tried to be a good big sister to all of them, preparing all the meals and even getting a part time job to pay the rent and buy food, since Dad drank all the money he made and often what was left of her paycheck as well. More than because the family needed it though, she took the job to get out of the house. Papa had an unhealthy attraction to her and when she was home, he almost always acted on it. She was powerless to stop him, and not even sure if she wanted to. The whole affair embarrassed and confussed her, so she spent as much time out of the house as she could, and the rest of the time, she cried on Hong's shoulder, making it hard for her to notice anything that went on.

Hong probably noticed but didn't care. He didn't care about anything. Hong escaped the troubled life they led by zoning out. He hardly paid attention to anything, staring off into space thinking about nothing at all. He had a soft spot for Angelique, sort of. He would hold her as she cried and babbled spilling her guts about her affair with Papa and how it was eating her up inside, and he would stroke her back gently, but he didn't really listen. He had stopped really listening to anything years ago instead letting himself be shunted around in the emotionless fog that had become his life. He had once laughed delightedly at fireworks that lit up the night sky, but that had been a lifetime ago and now nobody but Alfred tried to get him to open up.

Alfred was the oldest. He was always trying to help everyone, but he couldn't. He tried to stop Papa from molesting Angelique, but to no avail. He kept trying to get Dad to quit drinking, earning nothing but bruises for his trouble. He would ask Hong's opinion on everything, trying to get him to respond, but Hong was too far gone. He tried to get Mathew to interact with people more, even going so far as to bring Yekaterina, a girl who was almost as shy and quiet as Mathew, over. That had back fired when Mathew came to love her and her brother Ivan forbid her from ever coming back breaking Mathews heart. Ivan was the bane of Alfred's existence. He made Alfred's life hell. Every day, Alfred would come home with bruises from where Ivan had beaten him, or limping because Ivan had raped him. Alfred tried to put on a brave face for Peter, because he was the youngest, but Peter knew he was hurting. So did Mathew. Mathew was always there for Alfred, drawing up warm baths and gently washing the cuts wiping away Alfred's tears as he cried in pain. Alfred was a broken hero, who couldn't save any of them, but they all loved him because he tried.

So Peter would look out the gap in the curtains at the Oxenstiernas. He would watch Berwald kiss Tino goodbye gently and he would think that if only his fathers loved each other like that. Then maybe Papa wouldn't molest Angelique and maybe Dad wouldn't drink so much. Maybe Hong would actually say something and maybe Alfred would stay home more and avoid running into Ivan. Then Peter wouldn't have to look across the street and watch the Oxenstiernas all the time. But Dad and Papa had long since passed the point where they could love each other like that and Angelique had become so emotionally attached to Papa, she might not be able to handle it if he stopped, even though it was hurting her and Hong was too far gone from this world for anyone to bring him back, and Mathew would still be a recluse and Alfred would still be getting beat up by Ivan. So all Peter could do was smile at Alfred, so that he could keep his brave face and tell Angelique how good the food she made was and try to notice Mathew sometimes, so he didn't feel completely invisible and talk to Hong, tell him about his dreams and stare out the window at the Oxenstiernas and sigh longingly.


End file.
